Paganarchy Press

I'm killing 2 flying creatures with one stone here.

First I'm addressing the extremely political correctness that has made it really hard to insult someone. If I call Tony Blair a cunt, then it's an insult to a fabulous piece of female anatomy. If I call him a prick, then I'm insulting the male. If I call him a cocksucker then I'm discriminating against people who follow a fantastic sexual practice. If I call him a bastard, then I'm being rude to folks whose parents chose never to marry. If I call him a bitch, then I'm being overtly hostile to our canine friends.

In circle, we figured out the only safe brand to label someone that we really wanted to insult, without being politically incorrect was "dick cheese". Surely no-one out there will be upset by this? I hope not. With that in mind, I announce - Tony Blair - You are Dick Cheese.

I said I had 2 birds, err, flying creatures to take out. The second, and more important, is the scary scary fact that here in the UK, the government has just made it illegal to obtain, sell, grow, supply, harvest or eat any kind of magic mushroom! The Guardian reports that "importation, possession or sale of magic mushrooms will be punishable by a life sentence."

Clearly the UK Government are a collective of assorted dick cheeses. How fucking dare some dick cheese tell me what I can and what I can't eat, how I can fly, what is good for me, or how to explore my spirituality! And how dare they threaten to punish me for engaging in my own spiritual exploration as I choose to.

It gets worse, and I can smell dick cheese every where now! You see, the UN World Drug Report was released in June which has at the core then tenet: a "Drug free world by 2008." [Check more info on the Transform Drug Policy Foundation website.] Tell them they're dreaming! How out of touch with reality can they be? Major Parmesana!

Or is something more insidious going on? Some would say the big government dick cheese is actively creating a world in which it is impossible to obey all laws. It is not without reason that I go to protests and object to politicians working hard to consolidate their political, economic and military power. Anyone who tries to excercise their authority over another person is a fair target in my books. And that's what this smells like... Just more politicians making more rules which is turning more innocent people into criminals...

It's outrageous! But so is the lack of insults! If you have an idea of what we can do about this new dick-cheese shroom-busting law, or about the lack of valid insults I can throw at people, please list them here!

Love and Chaos,

Sean "Major Parmesan" Jedi