Sean @ PagAnarchy

Hmmm, have been offline for several days and need to vent some hot air. and cold air too, no doubt. and i'm sure there's fresh air in the mix; cool, intoxicating freshly fresh air.

i changed yesterday. i awoke in the morning the type of person who does not have any tattoos. i went to bed last night as the type of person who has a tattoo. getting it put on is a bit like a violent wand session. the wand was set to high and without the eroticism. well, i'm sure there are some erotic tattoo rituals but mine was from Inka, the tattoo shop in Brighton. tattoo pics will probably be uploaded soon. i love it!

i am poly. one of the last 'General BDSM' topic threads on my favourite website was entitled something like "would you cure your kink if you could?"... there's a big part of me that would like to cure my polyness. i'm really happy with my kinks, fetishes and capabilities. but polyness is a bit tougher. i guess being brought up in a large family where so many couples aspired to long term monogamy has programmed me to desire this in some way. and the thought of having a single partner-in-crime really is appealing sometimes. but it is not me. to pursue that would not be true to myself. and it didn't work out for anyone in my family either...

In the past 2 weeks i moved house, finished an IT contract in Bristol, exited a relationship and a theatre course i was doing came to a close. A very powerful time full of crossroad symbology and potential. A perfect time for a trip back to oz to visit friends, family, exes.

what is the plural of ex? exes? exs? can we create language as we go along? what is there to stop us?

the lady on my arm is a fool, a faerie, a minion of Eris (the Greek goddess of Chaos and all things random) and she looks really fucking hot in her stripey tights. stripey tights do it for me every time. that's a hint if you're going to date me.

dating. she is very beautiful this green-eyed wonder. beautiful, wise, fun-loving, intelligent, well-read, married, poly, left-handed. does she have stripey tights? only time will tell. but that's on the back-burner. oz first.

i have a new hard limit: i don't want to get involved with people addicted to emotion-stablising medications. from my outside perspective, i can only imagine that these things really restrict the depth a person can go to. BDSM, especially SM, is, for me, a powerful journey undertaken by various souls to discover more and more about the selves. don't these medications stop that voyage? don't they stop the uncovering and the revealing? i can only imagine that they limit the journey that is possible, and can't really stomach the thought of really journeying with someone who limits their journey in this way. real emotion is where the real power is. yet i guess i will remain open-minded about this to some degree. i love to be proved wrong. does loving to be proven wrong make me less of a dom? Ha!

My dommes include: the sea, the wind and the woods. Mistress Nicotina also has on-and-off control of me from time to time, but from her I try to escape. She sure is a all-pervading domme innit! Creeping up from behind, wanting me to kiss her, to sit on my face so that others may smell her sex on my breath. She comes to me when I least expect it and asks of me, "just one kiss?" but I know she wants more than that. She wants me body and soul. Can't we just be friends????

BDSM-wise: rape-play, fighting whilst fucking, resistance, interrogation and above all-else: defiance does it for me more and more. i am so much more into overpowering a defiant faerie using my mind, my body and my will than using ropes or other constraining devices. but i know these tools too have their place in this world.

oh, are you still here? i can't believe you read this far through all my random musings. big hugs to you! send me a 'hello' x x Sean